February 12th

Determined I am to keep a journal and when I have once fairly commenced I know it will be a pleasure – the very act of scribbling of thoughts, feelings and occurrences. Also it will be most pleasant to review at some future day – if I may be so happy as to see it – and then, if my Willie lives and I can in any way make this interesting, what a treasure it will be for him to look back upon and know somewhat of the doings and thoughts of his parents and self in younger days.

Just now the commencement seems rather stiff and I hardly know what to write but this will pass away and enjoyment will slowly follow. I wish with all my heart I had commenced this journalizing, at the very least, some two years ago when I first commenced my sea life. Then all things were new and delightful, everything seemed beautiful, grand or sublime, and my mind was filled with thoughts of beauty, delight, admiration and joy, but two voyages have made it somewhat of an old thing and first impressions will not continue. Now it is only at times that I feel that longing to commit to paper what passes in my mind, while before I felt as if I could write, write all the time. When I left the deck my baby claimed all writing time except what I gave to letters, but this is stiff enough, and looks like a forced commencement of one who had nothing to say.